Jul 28, 2008
The Fear of Fear...
Bruno's received much flack lately about his list of things he considers scary. If you have ever met Bruno in person, you would laugh a huge belly laugh once you realized that he is enormous. I'm not sure if this was a cosmic deal of the cards, but whatever the reason, it adds comedic value for a 115lbs dog to be scared of certain items.
And so, in order of scariness, here commences Bruno's top ten items considered to be avoided at all costs.
Now this is a new fear. We've been bringing this fan out every since he was a puppy and just recently he decided that is scary. It must play a part in the distribution of the alien beacons (a.k.a. "Feathers") and I just haven't become aware of it yet.
And so, in order of scariness, here commences Bruno's top ten items considered to be avoided at all costs.
1. Lampshades
Now this fear I understand his foundation! When Bruno was a puppy, he made a mad tear into the living room and managed to topple a floor lamp in the process. The lamp fell on him and thereby instilled the terror of lampshades that he has today.2. The Roomba
THE ROOMBA BUMPED INTO A FLOOR LAMP AND TOPPLED IT OVER!
3. Baby Gates
The arrival of our Roomba started off pretty well with Bruno. Initially, he was startled by the noise and its erratic movement, but overall, he adjusted a lot better than I could have ever imagined. That is until...
THE ROOMBA BUMPED INTO A FLOOR LAMP AND TOPPLED IT OVER!
Pure and utter sin! The Roomba was also deemed extra evil due to its constant thrashing of the next item on our list: baby gates.
3. Baby Gates
Baby gates are evil because when they fall down, they do so with a crash. It's also not funny when the Pugs crash into them and make them fall down. I think Bruno's lost about 2 years of his life for such incidents. The Roomba was also apparently in cahoots with the baby gate, as the two would meet up for crash sessions at least daily. Bruno has never been happier than when the Roomba stopped working. I am tempted to get another one (boy did that thing every pick up pet hair or what!) but part of me feels sorry for Bruno. I think if I see pet hair start flying by in tumbleweeds down the hallway, I might change my mind.
4. Ladybugs
Particularly those that land on a bone you are chewing.
5. Binder Clips
6. Feathers
Particularly those that land on a bone you are chewing.
5. Binder Clips
This fear was discovered at Parker's Mom's house. No idea why, but heck, Bruno feels they are so scary that he lifts full-sized mattress in trying to escape binder clips. He is grateful that I only use paper clips; paper clips are deemed OK and not threatening.
6. Feathers
Feathers are alien beacons. But only Bruno can sense this. He dreads winter time because this is when the down comforter comes out for our bedding. The down comforter is the alien Mothership for these alien beacons disguised as feathers.
7. Box Fans
Now this is a new fear. We've been bringing this fan out every since he was a puppy and just recently he decided that is scary. It must play a part in the distribution of the alien beacons (a.k.a. "Feathers") and I just haven't become aware of it yet.
8. Shadows
Shadows are deemed somewhat scary. If one ever surfaces, we are to avoid looking at it at all costs. Even if it's your own.
9. Bug Zappers
We have one of these outside and only turn it one when we hang out in the yard. Whenever I get bit by mosquitoes, the bites I swell up to the size of footballs and each bite only gets worse. Yay for hypersensitive immune systems! Our friend April was kind enough to let us have one and it's worked like a charm...much to Bruno's dismay! Each and every zaaaaap! that this thing emits, along with its eerie blue glow, only further proves to Bruno that the bug zapper is evil. We're working on this one; right now, he completely avoids the area it is in, but with the help of hot dog slices, we're slowly progressing to walking near it.
10. Garden Hoses
This one I can also explain (notice my exclamation of glee whenever I can explain one of Bruno's fear!)! During the summertime, temperatures here in Sacramento, CA rise up towards the 100's. When it gets this hot, The Mafiosos receive baths outside in the yard. Bruno quickly associated that turning on the garden hose means bath time is about to begin and runs to his crate.
Note that this list can change order and new items can be added at any time! My life with Bruno is a constant state of counter-conditioning and desensitization. What items we work on depends on his mood and state of mind. I tried booking with Dr. Melfi, but she's no longer seeing people associated with The Mafia. :-)
Note that this list can change order and new items can be added at any time! My life with Bruno is a constant state of counter-conditioning and desensitization. What items we work on depends on his mood and state of mind. I tried booking with Dr. Melfi, but she's no longer seeing people associated with The Mafia. :-)
Now for the serious part...
If you think you have a dog with similar issues like Bruno, I strongly suggest the following two books:
6 comments:
Dr. Melfi's had enough of mafiosi, eh? Well, can't blame her, I guess ...
what? no balloons? diamond is TERRIFIED of balloons. and the floor lamp in the corner (although she doesn't freak out anymore when i turn it on).
what is it with our tough dogs being the biggest babies ever??
what is it with our tough dogs being the biggest babies ever??
You left out light fixtures in the hallway....Freak.
Hey Bruno,
I got you something. Check it out on my blog.
I got you something. Check it out on my blog.
Bruno, I don't like baby gates much either!
Buzz has the opposite problem. The I-have-no-fear I'm-a-gonna-throw-my-body-at-that-full-force sort of problem. I think he may actually have learned the word dangerous now from the times that I have screamed hysterically "THAT'S DANGEROUS!!!"
It is amazing Buzz has made it to two with the amount of dangerous things he has jumped in/on and fallen into (rocky creekbed from 10 feet up, anyone?)